There are those questions in life that most of us inevitably ask ourselves: How many stars are in the sky? Why does the sun rise and set each day? Why do I love coffee so much? Where are my shoes? What is the meaning of life? What is wrong with me?
While Bay Area-based clinical psychologist Dr. Adriana Popescu can’t help you with the first four questions, she can absolutely help you with the last two. In her book What If You’re Not As F***ed Up As You Think You Are?, Dr. Popescu completely eschews the idea that there is anything wrong with us, and any negative perceptions of self are self-created. In other words, our own “stinkin’ thinkin’” is what limits us. The good news? It’s fixable!
We caught up with Dr. Popescu to find out more about her process of helping others, especially high achievers, with personal transformation and gaining understanding of what gets in the way of experiencing freedom, joy and peace.
Let’s start with your mission as a psychologist and empowerment coach.
I’m about enabling self-empowerment in those I work with. I help people see their light, their value, and understand the gift that they are to the world. We all have something to contribute! Many people are not able to see that because they have these limiting beliefs that they developed at a young age.
What kind of limiting beliefs?
A common thread I’ve seen in working with clients is their deeply held beliefs that something is fundamentally wrong with them. Thoughts like “I’m unlovable, I’m not enough, everyone leaves me.” These often trace back to difficult early life experiences. For many, those roots lie in trauma or simply growing up in homes that weren’t particularly healthy or functional.
I refer to these thoughts as core false beliefs. You may have heard phrases like limiting beliefs or negative core beliefs, but I prefer false because at their root, they’re simply not true. We are born whole and perfect. A baby or young child doesn’t think, “I’m not enough, I’m unlovable, I’m stupid.” In their true essence, children are joyful, present, and free of fear. They’re not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. That’s our work as adults—returning to that true essence.
Give us an example of a core false belief.
The beliefs we carry, often formed in childhood or passed down through family and culture, shape how we attract (or repel) abundance. For example, if you grew up hearing that “money is the root of all evil” or that success requires relentless struggle, those narratives may still be quietly directing your financial reality. Your point of view creates your reality—so if money feels scarce, it’s worth asking: what beliefs are driving this? Were they rooted in religion, family struggle, or even past trauma? Until those core beliefs shift, your relationship with money won’t either.
Interesting. So once those core false beliefs are identified, what does it take to shift them?
It starts with asking questions, because questions empower us. If you look at what a question does energetically, it opens up possibilities for different perspectives. On the other hand, coming to a foregone conclusion tends to narrow the possibilities.
For example, if a client comes to me and says, “I need to figure out how to make more money because I can’t pay my bills,” I might say, the question you want to ask is “what would it take for more money to show up?” This is tapping into the universe’s ask and receive. Some people call this the “law of attraction,” which taps into your mental state about what you believe to be true and what you ask for.
That’s not to say that we ask and then sit back, do nothing and wait for it to happen. We are “co-creators” with the universe and have to keep putting our energy out there, as well as take action where needed to actualize what we are asking for.
That sounds pretty straightforward.
It sounds that way, but I also counsel my clients to be careful of being too attached to the outcome of an ask. While your job is to ask for what you want and be very specific, you also need to let go of your attachment to an expected outcome and allow the universe to meet you. Who knows, the universe might surprise you with something even greater than you ever imagined!
Anything else you’d like to add?
The biggest challenge in releasing core false beliefs and shifting your energy is knowing how to do it and having the right tools. That’s why I wrote What If You’re Not As F**ed Up As You Think You Are? which offers practical guidance and end-of-chapter exercises designed to help readers work through limiting beliefs using a blend of traditional psychology (such as cognitive behavioral therapy) and more holistic approaches such as energy psychology, including EFT tapping. It’s meant to be a guidebook, providing a step-by-step pathway for moving from where you are now to where you want to be.
To find out more about Dr. Adriana Popescu and the range of services, workshops and sessions she offers in San Francisco and Novato, please visit adrianapopescu.org. Dr. Popescu also hosts a podcast called Kaleidoscope of Possibilities – Alternative Perspectives on Mental Health.
Donna Berry Glass is a freelance writer in Marin who writes about family, kids and parenting, Glass is the mother to one son, one dog and a hamster named Miss Geri. When she’s not writing, trekking up steep hills in Marin or driving her kid to sports practice, she and her family spend time in their tiny cabin in Lake Tahoe. She avidly supports the California Academy of Sciences, a world class science museum and research institution, and the Institute on Aging which provides much needed services to Bay Area seniors and disabled adults. Glass is obsessed with baking the perfect loaf of banana bread, something she makes so often she no longer needs to look at a recipe card.
